Directed by:Dario Argento
When I think of Mother of Tears..which horrible image comes to mind first? hmm..Is it the evil monkey chasing Asia Argento around? Is it Asia Argento blubbering, "mommy don't leave me. Mommy no," to the cgi fuckery that is her ghost mother? Or maybe I just see Dario's face, laughing in mine as I force myself to finish what I started...the final film of Argento's Three Mothers series. Maybe I'm being a little harsh. Maybe I should just give Argento credit for his long, often beloved, years as an inventive film maker. But Damn it Dario!!! Stop twisting that knife in my gut! You do that to the over sexualized beauties on the screen, please, but don't do me like this!!
Mother of Tears concludes Argento's trilogy about three evil witches, which he began with Suspiria in 1977 and then Inferno in 1980. As much as I despise math, lets do some. Lets see, Mother of Tears is 2007..that makes it 27 years after the last installment and 30 years after Suspiria. In all honesty, if this film was a stand alone feature I would have disliked it less. ...But it wasn't. This film was so completely different then Argento's past films it comes off pretty damn close to a parody. Sadly, Argento, a director once sacred in my foolish eyes, has lost his touch. The sloppy plot of this film simply fails without the master visuals the director was once known for. Sigh.
Cant help but love intestines. Only scene that stuck for me.
Sarah (Asia Argento, once again getting naked in her dad's movie)is not at all like the plucky heroines of Argento's past. I rooted for these girls who sought out the truth and were brave enough to face the evil around them. Sara has no subtance, just indifference and cowardice. Every single character who tries to help her, just dies and she moves right along as though her friend wasn't brutally killed in what was the only enjoyable scene of the movie. I don't believe it for a second and the movie never once tried to get me to believe it.
Mater Lachrymarum, the most powerful and beautiful witch in the series, is overly, underwhelming. Even before she is finally revealed as a boring hoe wearing a shirt as a dress, I seriously doubted her abilities and mysticism. Apparently her rise to power has caused an epidemic of violence in the streets....all I really saw was some vandalism and an unnecessary coven of witches that look like some 80's girl group for preteens. There was nothing frightening or unexpected about the Mater Lachrymarum or any of her associates. Especially not the monkey! What kind of self respecting queen witch has a dirty, little pet monkey!?
Its been impossible to pinpoint the thing I hated most Mother of Tears. (*Ahem* Mundane writing and hollow delivery. Mediocre visual experience. Plot Inconsistencies. That it wasn't so bad it was funny!!!) I have thought about what Dario could have done differently. I think he should have played with the mythos of the witches more! I think that if he had really delved into the back story he could have created a proper Mater Lachrymarum. I would have liked to see the little bits of the lore created in the earlier movies really come together as a cohesive story. And..you know..he could have just not made this movie. That would be the ideal, unfortunately, impossible, solution.
Make sure to check out my interview with one of my very patient best friends who watched this whole damn movie with me tomorrow... at some point!
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